I ask what I want.
I need inspiration.
on look is not enough.
I cant simply inspire.

Do I inspire as i assume..
I lie.
am lying to myself about me.
to me so that..
never mind..

I want to be moved.
reassured that they are for the better.
feel their being.
Be..
I want what I need..

wha that is..
intangible..

no one is looking when I am most vunerable.
I want to be noticed.

I dont know what I Want beacuse people fail to show me what they have to offer..

I dont know

Ring ring..

If I were an inventor..
electrician.
engineer.
I would not of created a telephone..
which once was a party line.
became a booth.
entered the home and now in the pockets..
that cell phone aint my thing..
it interupts my thing..
whatever it may be at the time..

All i need is a pencil..
something to scribble..
jot.
plot my own design..

stamps are cool..
Postmaster.

remodel..

I painted last night..
splish..
slpash spatter..
paint.
no trim..
just movement of the mind and my wrist followed..
flowed.
I created a space.
I made my kitchen complete..
Lets eat..

I guess..

In on ear and out the other.
Through the eyes and it bouce back..
I eat
I shit..
Drink to piss.
grow to shrink.
cant remember all my dreams.
Shower
scrub..
down the drain.

Lifes simple..
really..
real life in its basics.
the basics to life..
really real simple..
really..

Living never has to be that hard..
more water please..
hold the hydrogen.
MMMmmmMMM
Breath simple.

P&C

They came to home....
apparently, im told...
it just clicked in my head...
full of clouds..
but flowing...inciteful bliss...
she said they would come...
maternal lady, hands me some paper...
no, i say...im tired of opening the papers...
stapled, sealed, glued together...
lick...yuck...
back to it!
she said they would...over the phone.
i never thought.
who are "they."
that day, i lied...said i'd come...
set my date...
they came for me...
like robbers in the day...
left me a letter...
i ignored urgent...
i ignored....confidential...
i ignored....private....
the thing is my issue...
was my issue...
privates....
P&C got me to this....
that i thing i think is not me...
It said P&C
it got to me...
they will get me too.

....

She aint ready to Fcuk
And I aint wanting to knocks his rocks off.
She moves slow motion fast too quick I dragfrom him.
He she.
She HE.
and she he.
neither to choose.
which ones the choice.
Need I one..



Bisexual.
the two together make one.
bi sexual.
insert rub.
touch that spot bisexual.
insertion protrusion.
intersection.
bisexual.
aint I both.
X Y of thee..

Bisexual..


My emotions mak no sense.
it make no sense to make sense of my emotions.
cant do it.
them at the same time.
think.
feel.
one or the other not both.
the two too tangled in the tango not enough breath.
pace to hasten.
sweat to sweaty.
I need rest..
to device my own choreography.
what shall my daNCE BE..


MY QUEER POEM..

Lacks homophobia
aggressive sexual positions
snapping fingers
cross dressing rainbows
parades or fight for equal rights

nothing abou tlife is equality
instead its more concerned with balance equally

My queer poem is simple
he is something
captures my eye
(though I lookaway)
his smell moves me closer
( yet my steps take back)
The touch his touch touches me in places unseen
(so I force me numb)

I am homophobia too passive to position myself sexually
I dare not snap beacuse that is not enough I must stomp shout yell
cross dress out of this costume in a parade not my own.
Fuck a rainbow give me twinkle twinkle billion stars at night during day time.
Pleasure

My queer poem
is a fight to equally balance the she and he in me..

queer

Reigning In A New Year

Who am I
after sand and turbulence
the grit and the hail
the sad and the pain
when the circumstance is always misery
and the forecast stays constant with rain
crippling the body
dissolving the soul
and fraying the mind
when my pigment stains black
my blood boils dry
the walls crumble
wheels of life scurry, roll away
and the glasses shatter
who am i when the money is gone
freedom turns to doom
and Im posted up....naked, vulnerable
always alone
lost in my dreary world
of pity and hate
disdain and large voids
and what causes me to smile
despite the hardships
happiness I cant proclaim
I am blinded
by mere possibilities
of what i see in everyday
the glee and the laughter
that i am desperate to conquer
overcast and thrown underneath
without and cornered-in
no purpose and for nothing I live
i stay high
yet linger...submerged below
if this is life....I would rather not
why am I?