I need to stop.

and remember all the pain that has set in me.

I need to stop.

returning to unfilling sources that strip my strength.

I need to stop.

and rekindle my shackled & oppressed heart.

I need to stop.

the negative deeds that anger me.

I need to stop.

the harboring of emotions built deep in my body.

I need to stop.
the nurturing of my past as means to find my way.
I need to stop.

the actions that have rooted consequences that make me shame.

I need to stop.

the lies to myself for the reason I never find happiness.

I need to stop living like the world has ended.

and I'm the only one here.

He sang to me with no rhythm.
no scales octaves or keys.
he simply said it simply.
I make him wonder.
question the possilibility that fluidity of his being.
with me possibly.

To peer in to the eye..
his eyes.
smell close his touch.
I felt.
the feelings of a brother.
a human..
the pulse of being..

I wonder who I wonder.
Inspiration.

Untitled

It's like sex
sensual. soft. lustful in taste
careesing the sides of your mouth
like waves against an ocean rock
like sweet cornbread for sunday dinner
honey from a tree, to the finger

while watching the afternoon rain
like the piano to eloquent lyrics
like breath

from your lover's mouth, to your neck
it's passionfruit while we watch the sunset
it's soothing, nurturing...calm but moody
brings harmony that takes you to your knees
it's the best to ever happen to you
what is your Love?

top 26

1. Sexuality confuses me. Humans should have that ability to simply be. With that said I want a wife and husband. I am attracted to them both for varying reasons..
2. I love stealing food.
3. It saddens my soul when people pass one another and don’ talk though I do it myself.
4. While in Dc for two moths straight I had wet dreams every night.. sheets get expense penis get it together..
5.I l have problems with the behaviors of men and women. so I am sexist.
6. I think heterosexuals are the most vain insecure craziest motherfuckers on this planet.
7. I had a phobia of heart disease and would drain all of my food of grease by squeezing it with a napkin before eating it.
8. I love the sound high heels make on hollow ground. ( and no I don’t wear them).
9. I live my life as though people are watching me and pretend to ignore them.
10. I love to explore people not through them but the things they do and interact with. There is a character in the Bluest eye who does the same look it up.. Toni Morrision.
So when people move and leave things out on the side I rummage through it. People are fascinating.
11. I used to look behind my door at the end of each day to see if some one left a note letter of some sort.. hopefull romanticism
12. I am multifaceted in art because of my high sensitivity and emotionalism, people tend to forget males too are sensitive and because of that I tend to invest my emotional energies in things that don’t resist me . ( paint. Textile. Language. The like.)
13.I wanted to be a porn star though I am afraid of sex.. well not afraid but the niggas around me I don’t trust so yeah.
14. I for some reason thought I would be stung out on crack. ITS WHACK DON’T DO IT..
15. I talk to myself and my plants.
16. I love watching people.
17. I don’t wear draws unless it cold outside ( so that I don’t chaff that’s not cute)..
18. I want my first sexual experience to be with multiple people.
19. I don’t like liquid soap.
20. Im both gay and straight bisexual and asexual. I am confusing confusion.
21. I want my parents to have sex with one another before I get married or attempt to. ( they’re divorced).
22.I feel disconnected to many of the people I encounter.
23. I see things.
24. I love the smell of a freshly lite cigarette.
25. I blow my nose on old T shirts to save paper.
26. and I must learn to be self centered and stop worrying about the whole world. I want a brotha to ask me on a date. And then we have a three some with his girlfriend and then we eat air pooped Chesters pop corn and paint each other nude. Light incense stretch cook salmon and noodles. Bake some corn bread and go for a walk..

Renaissance

Do I believe in the born again
the here before
the living of the ones who's been here before?
I maybe should
because sometimes when I appear to myself
I see something in me
that takes me back
to Movements. Stuggles. Revolutions. Eras.
Decades before.
When my brothers,
the forefathers of my people
of my kind
my energy
my kin...
their essence is exuded in me.
The progressive thinkers
the creative minds
the impassioned souls
amplified spirits...
The ones who's personal circumstances
never dampered the flame in their soul
The ones who sought freedoms
to all degrees for the next man and himself
The ones who sought intelligence
knowledge
and made sacrifice to the self, the mind
and allowed that to exonerate their depth
The Kool, poised kats who didnt mind a little cloud
....mind fray....to ease a pain
or simply bring Peace to a still.
The Writers.
The Musicians.
The Poets.
The Leaders.
The Dancers.
Those of a time that lives in me, lived before...
an imagination of Langston Hughes.
the dare of James Baldwin.
stength & persona of Malcolm X
the free will of Alvin Ailey.
the passion of Donnie Hathaway.
the brave of Marvin Gaye.
Their names bring me courage
bring to me strength
bring about purpose
bring about passions
to take change, to charge, and let GO!
Standing free to live a multi-faceted, cultured
engaged life.
To let it take you where you choose the destiny
to see before
the things they saw to life
with their heart. soul. and the mind of a Renaissance.

episodes.

I have a love affair with creativity.
It takes me.
I follow.
Flow in accordance to its rhythm.
Vibrant dull
Strokes of ingenious
I am creative creativity.
And he my lover..

The simplicity.
The gentility of the humanity of humans
Should not be under estimated.
We are soft simply.

Handle with care..


Break in poetic justice.
Well pause for a simple reflection for life as life be.
Seeing life for life’s sake.
I love living.
A, enjoying this life experience that it all me to experience the life in it.
Mellow cool.
Brown hues of blue in the hole in the wall that is Hebroots .

Sitting on my front porch consuming what I had eaten I was nice.
Reclined and inverting the way I see things the way they’re seen

Don’t know.
Don’t ever know if I told you this before to your face.
But I am loving you.
In love with the way you lead me to follow you and take me away from a day into a week month and years pass and cant seem to get enough of you.
You live me.
I live you.
Together we be.
What should be.
And to you life I say I love..
Am loving.
Being in you..


Imagine the eyes on the side of the face.
Nose as the stomach.
Groin are the lips for they taste sensation.
Nose filter as does the gastro.
Eyes outside fro we see beyond two hollow holes in the skull our expression.
Our being extends from the body to





Drives a serial killer dingy beige of white creamed van.
Sure it takes a lot out of him.
Putting so much into the tank to make it move forward.
I can be his fossil fuel.
For I am reborn.
From the ash of preexistence.
Like the phoenix I rise.


I wanted to see him and I did..
Knew he was coming before he even got there.
Universally the universe works just as its written..
One..
Uni.
Verse.
Stanza.
Life one once stanza movement in a sequence never too new to be old.
This has all be done before.
In fact its being repeated.
The same way.
It a universe remember..


Asked her how much.
If there could be such a thing.
Was the price of her electricity.
She said it varied. Depended on the how much the people used.
The use was up to them you see they change things she say.
From the box in the in office they shift number gauges readings that never were for literacy.
Literally she shared the conspiracy behind electric companies.
How they stole from the money poe to get some moe.
But they got whats coming.
Cause what they don’t know is that what you do come back.
Not in the way it was taken..
It changes.
And if it aint of God.
You pay.
More than any wattage hertz or kilo.
So she aint gonna use it.
And I cut mine off.
Cause heat come from the body.
So if you wrap self up.
Like a potato you will bake..
Back to sweeping the porch.
And inside I went back in.




He is very short with me.
Wonder what that be bout.
Sight I think he see that we share that same queerity.

Exe

Last night I gave my first all-premiere debut
stout and proud as a rock
thick like the clouds across the horizon
as the show went on
depths of passion consumed me
watching became dreaming
the rugged thin limbs,
like pains and scratches
whips down my object's back
i saw the streetlight
and envisioned a moon, currently absent
the subtly of the dark clouds
whispered to me like breath
warm, cool....needing like yours
to release
explode....we all had something to prove
me...how to capture an audience
for something i might continue
this...charades, this stroking like you're mad
beaming like a StaRR
the clouds....burst of rain
feeding the flowers
de-thirsting the fields....and gardens alike
and "Beau Jang-a-lang"....
now thick like the air between the world and me
rugged and running with roots and vines
'shroomed to love at the head...to the heart
spilling, oozing, burtsting into air
into the the audience....
in their mouths...
down their necks....
this is The Show I seen, I saw
last night,
when I stripped myself into nudity
played the jams of older kats
opened my blinds....
got cocky.....
tough.....
anxious......
this is what I saw...
when I took my dick in hand
showed the world
what I can do...
how I do
XXX

I ask what I want.
I need inspiration.
on look is not enough.
I cant simply inspire.

Do I inspire as i assume..
I lie.
am lying to myself about me.
to me so that..
never mind..

I want to be moved.
reassured that they are for the better.
feel their being.
Be..
I want what I need..

wha that is..
intangible..

no one is looking when I am most vunerable.
I want to be noticed.

I dont know what I Want beacuse people fail to show me what they have to offer..

I dont know

Ring ring..

If I were an inventor..
electrician.
engineer.
I would not of created a telephone..
which once was a party line.
became a booth.
entered the home and now in the pockets..
that cell phone aint my thing..
it interupts my thing..
whatever it may be at the time..

All i need is a pencil..
something to scribble..
jot.
plot my own design..

stamps are cool..
Postmaster.

remodel..

I painted last night..
splish..
slpash spatter..
paint.
no trim..
just movement of the mind and my wrist followed..
flowed.
I created a space.
I made my kitchen complete..
Lets eat..

I guess..

In on ear and out the other.
Through the eyes and it bouce back..
I eat
I shit..
Drink to piss.
grow to shrink.
cant remember all my dreams.
Shower
scrub..
down the drain.

Lifes simple..
really..
real life in its basics.
the basics to life..
really real simple..
really..

Living never has to be that hard..
more water please..
hold the hydrogen.
MMMmmmMMM
Breath simple.

P&C

They came to home....
apparently, im told...
it just clicked in my head...
full of clouds..
but flowing...inciteful bliss...
she said they would come...
maternal lady, hands me some paper...
no, i say...im tired of opening the papers...
stapled, sealed, glued together...
lick...yuck...
back to it!
she said they would...over the phone.
i never thought.
who are "they."
that day, i lied...said i'd come...
set my date...
they came for me...
like robbers in the day...
left me a letter...
i ignored urgent...
i ignored....confidential...
i ignored....private....
the thing is my issue...
was my issue...
privates....
P&C got me to this....
that i thing i think is not me...
It said P&C
it got to me...
they will get me too.

....

She aint ready to Fcuk
And I aint wanting to knocks his rocks off.
She moves slow motion fast too quick I dragfrom him.
He she.
She HE.
and she he.
neither to choose.
which ones the choice.
Need I one..



Bisexual.
the two together make one.
bi sexual.
insert rub.
touch that spot bisexual.
insertion protrusion.
intersection.
bisexual.
aint I both.
X Y of thee..

Bisexual..


My emotions mak no sense.
it make no sense to make sense of my emotions.
cant do it.
them at the same time.
think.
feel.
one or the other not both.
the two too tangled in the tango not enough breath.
pace to hasten.
sweat to sweaty.
I need rest..
to device my own choreography.
what shall my daNCE BE..


MY QUEER POEM..

Lacks homophobia
aggressive sexual positions
snapping fingers
cross dressing rainbows
parades or fight for equal rights

nothing abou tlife is equality
instead its more concerned with balance equally

My queer poem is simple
he is something
captures my eye
(though I lookaway)
his smell moves me closer
( yet my steps take back)
The touch his touch touches me in places unseen
(so I force me numb)

I am homophobia too passive to position myself sexually
I dare not snap beacuse that is not enough I must stomp shout yell
cross dress out of this costume in a parade not my own.
Fuck a rainbow give me twinkle twinkle billion stars at night during day time.
Pleasure

My queer poem
is a fight to equally balance the she and he in me..

queer

Reigning In A New Year

Who am I
after sand and turbulence
the grit and the hail
the sad and the pain
when the circumstance is always misery
and the forecast stays constant with rain
crippling the body
dissolving the soul
and fraying the mind
when my pigment stains black
my blood boils dry
the walls crumble
wheels of life scurry, roll away
and the glasses shatter
who am i when the money is gone
freedom turns to doom
and Im posted up....naked, vulnerable
always alone
lost in my dreary world
of pity and hate
disdain and large voids
and what causes me to smile
despite the hardships
happiness I cant proclaim
I am blinded
by mere possibilities
of what i see in everyday
the glee and the laughter
that i am desperate to conquer
overcast and thrown underneath
without and cornered-in
no purpose and for nothing I live
i stay high
yet linger...submerged below
if this is life....I would rather not
why am I?